Its no secret that one of the most difficult parts of a romantic relationship is keeping the s*xual spark alive. Youre tired, you have a demanding job (that never seems to end) and if you decide to throw kids into the mix, you can pretty much forget about doing the deedever again. But all is not lost: here are some surprising reasons your s*x life is suffering and what you can do to save it.
Sounds obvious, right? Well being tired isnt just killing the energy you have to put into a wild night of love-making, its also killing your desire to do so. Get a few extra hours of shut-eye each night, and youll be feeling frisky in no time.
You’ve gained weight
You know youre beautiful at any size, but trying to squeeze into those awesome jeans from college can destroy your s*x drive. Its not really about the weight itself, its the way you feel about your body. Do yourself a favour: clean out your closet and only hold on to clothes that currently fit. (Yes, that means no more saving those skinny jeans.
There’s no trust
In a one-sided casual intimate relationship? Did you catch your partner in a lie? Nothing kills a woman’s libido more than a betrayal of trust. Try repairing (or rejecting) the emotional relationship before you try to get back into the physical one.
You’re holding a grudge
If you cant stop thinking about that thing he/she did six months ago, theres no way youre going to want to have s*x with him. Grudge leads you to bite off your nose to spite your face. Decide what you want, and then stick to it. The only way to get frisky again is to forgive.
You’re popping pills
And not the fun kind. The medication you’re on can (and often does) affect your libido. If you feel like you’re never in the mood, try talking to your doc about what you’re taking and see if there are any adjustments you can make to your pill plan.
Theres no way to get in the mood when all youre thinking about is work and bills. Try meditating for 10 or 15 minutes before hopping into bed with your partner. The quiet time will hopefully calm your mind, and help you leave stress (and any other s*x-drive killers) at your bedroom door.
Smoking may have been sexy in the 60s, but its the last thing you want to do if your s*x drive is suffering. Smoking has been shown to cause major s*xual issues in men, and while women dont suffer the same severe effects, smoking can cause a females blood vessels to harden making orgasm more difficult to achieve.