My name is Vanessa. My husband is insisting I have my bath with him but I hate it. I hate to bath with anybody because of all the rubbing and touching body. I am not a fan of that so I always refuse and wait for him to finish. The same thing applies to eating with him. I dont like to eat with anybody, because I eat very slow and get irritated if anyone puts his hands into my food, even right from when I was a child. Now, my issue is that my husband is insisting I bath and eat with him knowing well that I dont like it. He has been so aggressive and refused to make love to me or eat in the house except I bath and eat with him but I dont want to. I tried to bath with him recently but I could not just see any muse doing it, so I left the bathroom. Please is it a must to bath with your husband? Cant he respect my feelings?
Hello Vanessa, Unfortunately, you can’t have your cake and eat it in marriage. Two different people with two different orientations become one and, therefore, there are bound to be conflicts. I also think that apart from you overreacting, your husband too is also overdemanding with his requests, especially the one of having of you two have your bath together.
Fine, I clearly understand the motives behind his request- which is to build harmony between you both, but everyone has certain preferences. In marriage, one party will have to concede to the action/request which is for the greater good of the union, while other personal decisions are allowed. In this case, I think you should have a mild conversation with your husband on his good day and explain to him in details why you do not like to have your bath with people.
Let him know that even though you both are married, it would be difficult for you to adjust as that has been your policy from childhood. Promise him that you would try to adapt but it would take a while for you to get used to it.
However, I will advice that you immediately accede to his request that you both eat together. There is nothing harmful about eating with people together, how much more with your husband. You must begin instantly to have your meal with him as it strengthens family bonds.